St. Pats

St. Patrick's Day this year came and went and I did nothing sepcial, but I can't blame that on the pandemic. Starting when I was a child it was never, at least in my family, a holiday where you went out in the evening like New Years Eve. About 10 years ago on March 17th I went to an Irish pub in Alexandria where there was a celebration as if the Irish should be celebrated for nothing more than their association with alcohol. I noticed starting sometime in the 1980's that it was becoming a frat boy drinking holiday for those right at both borders of minimum age. I think I understand now how Mexicans feel about how the gringos have turned Cinco de Mayo into Margartia Day. But St. Pats is supposed to a fun and not a somber holiday. We laughed as a family at the notion of beer dyed green and that figure of the Erin Go Bragh fighting leprechaun. More often than not my grandmother would be staying with us and she and I would leave early in the morning on the bus from our apt. in Queens to catch the parade on Fifth Avenue. We never took the subway because she had a fear of escalators. After the parade we would catch a late lunch at a Horn and Hardhats, and maybe stop at Ederbahls for ice cream back in Queens. Or we would go straight home for dinner. That was always corned beef, boiled potaoes and cabbage, with a side of apple sauce. My mother might have made Irish coffee; essentially coffee with Irish whiskey. I was allowed to take a good sip, but it was only the sweet cream that floated on top that I cared for.

Easter Sunday, April 12, 2020 1:22 PM

Life is on hold, including holidays like Easter Sunday. Easter and Christmas were the holidays for nominal Catholics like myself, when we go to Church of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in D.C. I fell worse for those who normally would be celebrating this holiday with a little more joy and devotion.I'm here all by my lonesome, social distancing from Lucy and Al. When I told Al that I needed to social distance because I'm in the high risk group he then asked me, haven't I lived long enough, I replied back that like Robert Frost, I have miles to go before I sleep. I guess I have 7 more years to enjoy.

Sunday, April 5, 2020 9:46 pm

I had the night time city streets all to myself again tonight. It's very selfish to say during this time of emergency but I love it. Like many I've started wearing a mask, but that was earlier when I was out walking during the day but not tonight. I wanted to feel the night air over my face and entire body

Thursday, April 2, 2020 8:57 pm

I saw more people wearing masks today. That's also the new official guidance. I'm regretting not having a supply of critical stuff like toilet paper, hand sanitizer, bleach and now the N95 respirator masks that are in such demand. My son said I should also get a gun, preferably a 12 gauge shotgun. What am I going to do with that? I said, Repel boarders who are trying to break in and steal my supply of canned chickpeas? He replied, oh you think this is a joke, but it's going to get to the point where you're going to need a gun. I have in the past contemplated a world where I would need a gun to survive and I've always come to the conclusion that it's not a world I want to live in. My thinking on that has not changed, yet.

Sunday, March 29, 2020 - 11:50 am

The other night I took a walk and saw some cars racing down highway. It couldn't be a better time for that stuff, there's no traffic on the road! I'm going to go out in a little bit, get on my bike and gor a ride. I need this escape more than ever to relieve my stress.

Secluded in Place - Saturday, March 28, 2020, 1:18 PM

All this morning and now I have never felt more content than I have felt in a very long time, going back way before the Emergency. I've started the day with classical music streaming and reading some internet news, but limiting myself on that and going on to make my way through a hardbound copy of a biography of James Smithson. It's the right kind of day for this: heavily overcast and gray. It reminds me so of Saturdays of my youth that I found perfect to spend all day reading or watching some classic black and white film noir on TV with a story that I could easily get lost in (even if I couldn't understand the plot twists). I'm not completely without the fear and anxiety that I started having earlier this week. Now more than ever I've been thinking on how I am so vulnerable, because I'm in the high risk group by age, and also the fear that I'm not in a good position to weather this financially if I lose my job because we aren't selling enough athletic shirts and shoes. There also the thoughts of the people who are suffering now, some who are on ventilators, just clinging to life, or the waiters, bartenders and sales staff newly unemployed. And there are my ever present concerns about the state of my country and the politics that went sour long before this crisis. But for the moment I'm enjoying this peaceful feeling. It won't last for long so I'm going to wallow in it a little more before it's gone. Seize the moments.

Goobye Fish

I sold the aquarium today and all of it: the tank, stand, coral and the three fish who swam in it are now gone. It was a relief to see the Central American laborers move it without dropping or breaking any of it. But I was surprised to feel a tinge of sadness. My son Bryan had invested much of his time and labor on it (even if I was the bank for all the costly hardware). I never got in to it the way he did, it was his hobby. But I'm not going to continue feel sentimental. It's time to move on. One less complication in my life